“Can you believe this happened to ME?” we ask others in righteous exasperation. It becomes our mantra when things happen to us beyond our seeming control. An accident, health issues, money problems, relationship woes, betrayal or divorce, all may elicit a knee jerk response and an unhealthy helping of the “why me?” blues. As we allow this type of thinking to grow and settle in our brains and our psyches, we give all of our power away. It is as if we believe some outside force, other people, or the ‘powers that be’ has it in for us and has all the control rendering us helpless. We subsequently throw our survival skills and optimism right out of the window. We allow ourselves to say things such as “I’m so unlucky”, or “this is not fair!” We feel like puppets on a string, and we just know that there must be a conspiracy against us by the puppeteer! So, what must we do to get out of the pit of victimized thinking? To start with we must WANT to break this pattern of dealing with life.
Awareness of our self talk is a big start in dismantling victimized thinking. Shifting out of the victim consciousness to victor consciousness starts with a change of perspective. We should ask ourselves what lessons are in each of our challenging circumstances. How did we contribute, or what can we learn from each ‘situation’? How can we overcome obstacles and create the best life for ourselves and those we love? We must stop disempowering ourselves by thinking that random things just ‘happen’ to us, and we have no control. If we tend to think of the glass as always half empty in all of our dealings with life, we will always feel lack or that something’s missing. (Who drank half of my glass of water?!) And, of course, what we look for and how we see the world is what our own internal world will feel like. Thus, a cycle of negative thinking will create more circumstances that are challenging. Our thinking actually draws more of what we DON’T want towards us! These patterns may have been a part of our behavior for as long as we can remember. And without shifting our focus out of ego driven self pitying thinking, we continue to perpetuate this pattern, and act as models to our children and future generations of negative victimized people. Taking responsibility for our own choices, reactions and thoughts is self-empowerment, and it propels us out of the undertow of victimization, and towards joyful and abundant and VICTORious living.
Shifting perspective is a choice. Einstein was once asked by a reporter what was one of the most important questions facing humanity today. He replied, “I think the most important questions facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place’?” This is a question that each of us must answer for ourselves. And how we answer this question will be how we experience life. If we think the universe is unfriendly, we will focus on fear, always looking over our shoulders for the bad guys and planning on being attacked. This puts the blame and control outside of ourselves, leading to a feeling of helplessness. If we look upon the universe (God) as indifferent, then we will experience life as if there is no purpose or meaning, only a random tumbling through life. Einstein added, “But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.” If this is the case, then everything that ‘happens’ to us is for our own well being, and in fact may be a blessing!
So, perhaps you feel it is time to cut the puppet strings, change perspectives, and take the heavy cloak of victimization off? Maybe this has been a pattern of your behavior for as long as you can remember? Again, it is each of our choices, and our free will to think the way we want to. Do we choose to wallow just a bit more in the mud of self pity, as it may feel so familiar? Or, do we choose to break free from the restrictions and constrictions of being ‘the victim’? Do we choose our thoughts more carefully, keeping them optimistic and freeing ourselves from the shackles of our victimization mentality? All that it takes is a shift of thinking, letting go of past programming, and moving towards the success of being victorious co-creators of life!